Troublesome Texting
by cactusnell
Summary: When Sherlock's texts drive Molly crazy, Mary decides to intervene. Sherlolly


Molly Hooper was having second, and even third thoughts, about her decision to have a girl's night out with her close friend Mary Watson. Mary was beginning to feel slightly trapped at home, with an infant daughter and a hovering husband constantly asking her how she was feeling. The new mother was feeling over-worked, under-appreciated, and out of her mind. She just needed a few hours away from it all, and had finally persuaded Molly to join her.

Molly's reluctance stemmed from the fact the she spent almost every Saturday evening with her friend and not-so-secret crush, Sherlock Holmes. Nothing romantic, or not romantic as far as she was concerned. Sherlock operated on such a different plane of existence that she had absolutely no idea what he thought was going on. The spent their evenings watching trash telly (his choice) or scifi movies (hers). Sometimes they would go out to dinner, but most often dined on takeout at his flat, or home cooking at hers. They would discuss new developments in forensic science, old movies, or current events. These discussions would sometimes end in arguments, which Sherlock never lost (at least in his own mind!). But they never ended in anything more than a farewell kiss on the cheek, to Molly's eternal dismay. She knew, intellectually, that she ought to give up on this hopeless situation, but her heart could not risk losing whatever tenuous hold she had the world's only consulting detective.

But finally, on this particular Saturday, she had told Holmes that she had other plans. He did not take this well, and the texting started just after noon.

YOU CAN SEE MARY ANYTIME. WHY MUST YOU SEE HER TONIGHT? - SH

SHE JUST NEEDS A NIGHT OUT - MH

HOW ABOUT MY NEEDS? - SH

AS FAR AS I CAN TELL YOU HAVE NO NEEDS ASIDE FROM A SUITABLE COMPANION TO KEEP YOU FROM BECOMING BORED. I SUGGEST YOU GET A DOG - MH

There followed a short interval during which she could just picture Sherlock sulking in his pajamas at 221B Baker Street. But by four o'clock, the texts started again.

WHEN ARE YOU MEETING MARY? - SH

7 O'CLOCK - MH

WHERE? - SH

I'M NOT TELLING YOU - MH

? - SH

WE DON'T WANT YOU CRASHING OUR GIRLS NIGHT - MH

WHY NOT? - SH

MAYBE WE'LL BE OUT TROLLING FOR MEN. YOU WOULD CRAMP OUR STYLE! UNLESS YOU'D ALSO LIKE TO TROLL FOR MEN? - MH

I'LL TELL JOHN - SH

GO RIGHT AHEAD. THE MEN WOULD BE FOR ME, NOT MARY - MH

MEN, PLURAL, MOLLY? AREN'T YOU GETTING A LITTLE OVERLY AMBITIOUS? - SH

At this point, the previous veiled reference to Mrs. Hudson's beliefs about his sexual preferences seemed to hit a sore spot, as the next text didn't arrive for almost two hours.

I AM NOT GAY. I AM NOT CARRYING A TORCH FOR JOHN. YOU, OUT OF EVERYONE, SHOULD KNOW THAT! - SH

WHY IS THAT? - MH

I KISS YOU ALL THE TIME! - SH

CHEEKS DON'T COUNT SHERLOCK. I'M NOT EVEN SURE KISSING COUNTS! - MH

Radio silence for another two hours. Soon, Mary had arrived, and by the time they had downed two drinks apiece the evening had taken a turn toward the somber.

"I'm sorry that I dragged you out tonight," Mary started apologetically. "The longer I sit here the more I miss John and the baby. I thought I needed a night out, but all I really need is some quiet time. Not that I get much of that at home, but it is still considerably quieter than here!" The din was getting louder and louder at the night progressed. " I guess I ruined your plans with Sherlock."

"There are never any plans with Sherlock. Only doing what he wants to do, when he wants to do it! Nothing is ever going to change. I have to get myself out of this mess, but I just can't seem to. He's been whining via text messages for the better part of the day, and I don't think I can take it anymore!" As she said this, another text message appeared.

LANDED ANY MEN YET MOLLY ?- SH

Molly could almost hear the sneering tone. She entered a response.

BITE ME YOU GIT !- MH

Becoming more and more upset, she excused herself to go to the ladies room, ignoring Mary's offer to accompany her and leaving her mobile on the table.

Mary, ever the snoop, was going through her friend's previous texts, when the latest one arrived.

I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE INTO THAT SORT OF THING BUT I'M WILLING TO EXPERIMENT! - SH

"Whoa!" thought Mary, "If it was anyone else but Sherlock, that would definitely sound like a proposition." Maybe the previous dig about not having needs, or the snide comment about his sexuality, or even just Molly's refusal to bend to his will was having a strange effect on the arrogant bastard. Mary, having by this time downed her third cocktail, was just pissed enough to respond in her friend's stead.

I LIKE EXPERIMENTING TOO. IF I COME OVER WILL YOU MAKE IT WORTH MY EFFORT? - MH

To her surprise, the response came almost immediately.

YES - SH

YOU DO KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT? - MH

JUST HURRY. I FIND MYSELF GETTING VERY….IMPATIENT - SH

ON MY WAY! - MH

Mary gathered up her and Molly's belongings, and met Molly as she headed back to the table. "We're leaving!"

"What?"

"I'm going home to my husband and kid, and you're going over to Baker Street!"

"I don't want to go to Baker Street," Molly was still protesting as Mary practically shoved her into a cab and gave the driver the address.

"Molly, do this for me. Believe me, you'll thank me later!" She slammed the cab door closed and watched it move down the street. Then Mary went happily home to her family.

Hours later, as she lay in bed with her adoring husband's arms wrapped around her, Mary was awakened by the text alert on her mobile.

THANK YOU! - MH

VERY MUCH! - SH


End file.
